How Does This Stuff Find Me?

Mr. Pretties, The LPs and I were taking a drive this evening. It also happens to be garbage night (these two events are not related btw) when we drove past this at the curb:

It's a piece of architectural salvage. From what? I have no clue. Ofcourse I asked Mr. Pretties to turn around, and pull over on a main road so that I could take a closer look. Arc. Salvage is huge around here, I think I may save myself the hassle and just sell it right to a dealer. It is heavy as sin, my. god. I lifted it and then started laughing because it was so ridiculously heavy, which made it all the more worse because ofcourse now I'm going to drop it while trying to get it into the Buick and dent Mr. Pretties car, then thinking that made me laugh harder. It did infact get into the trunk though with no major incidences. Who picks this stuff up? Honestly?

My Sweetheart Has A First Name...

It's A-N-T-I-Q-U-E... My Sweetheart Has A Second Name

It's T-R-U-N-K...

Mr. Pretties and I (ahahaha I say Mr. Pretties like he's part of the active search mwahahaha) have been searching for the trunk for years. Literally. I've seen many I liked, believe you me, but none that took my breath away (Seriously, you'd be surprised how many old pieces do that too me... you should hear me searching Kijiji and Ebay it sounds like someone's continuously taking their last breath at the computer). I lied. There was one, it was a puny little thing that was very ornate and adorable. Great shape and we could have got a fantastic deal. Not to mention I'd been checking Aberfoyle all summer to see if it was 'still there'. Alas at purchase time Mr. Pretties and I got in a raucous which lead to me stalking off over dramatically and waiting in the car in true spoiled brat style. Hey, don't you judge me, you don't live with Mr. Pretties. Ofcourse the following weekend when we went up to purchase it it was no longer. Murphey's Law. I'll be honest, a few tears were shed over that one.

But as I was stalking (Yes, that's what you call it when you have RSS feed on Kijiji) Kijiji lastnight I came across that beauty dated between 1880 and 1915, at a fabulous deal, in wicked great condition (only missing the trays). We hopped in the car first thing this morning and picked it up from it's home over an hour away. Love. It. As we were hauling it home Mr. Pretties said the silliest thing: 'You're taking that to Aberfoyle, right? You should be able to make a nice profit off that one!' Rriigghhhtttt... for sure I'm going to sell it... to myself. I'm definitely going to sell it after a life long search for my sole mate in wood. Please. Maybe I'll sell Mr. Pretties. He is an antique after all...

A New Vice In Life...

... I require buttons. Lots and lots of buttons. Vintage and antique buttons ofcourse. Do you have any idea how insane this makes Mr. Pretties? And no, I didn't start obtaining them simply for that purpose, I can do that well enough all by myself without the props ;)

I just happened to be junking. Again. And as I was making my way to the pillow case section, to get myself some vintage linens no doubt, I saw a huge bag full of buttons. Now, a normal person is saying 'Yuh huh... so?' and they would have kept on walking. Not me, I snatched up that bag like it was a bag of gold and there was a line of gold diggers standing behind me. The older lady standing there checking out the vintage patterns looked at me like I was nuts. Which, ofcourse, I am. Clearly. I then walked over to Mr. Pretties with a big stupid grin on my face and proudly showed him my loot. I believe he said something along the lines of 'Riiigghhhtttt.... and you're buying that? I'm not even going to ask why. Nope I'm just not going to...' and walked away. Quickly.

I sorted them lastnight and there were 1236 buttons. Some were glass, some ceramic, possibly some bakelite and celluloid. Some were so old they were no longer round, which is so sweet, it's like someone kept sewing those little sweethearts onto blouse after blouse until they were too small for the button holes after years of fingers buttoning them. That makes me feel all warm inside... I spent two hours just sorting them, examining them and totally loving on them. I totally get how people collect them.

I've now won three ebay auctions for some Victorians and some fabulous cameos, I cannot wait to get them. I'll post pictures soon, I don't need Mr. Pretties wary glance as he sees me busting out 'those stupid buttons' to take pictures of them. Especially since I don't take his picture or anything...

Have I shared my need to open an antique shop eventually? I've now decided that I would love to get some antique candy jars from the old sweet shoppes and have the buttons sorted some how (haven't decided yet...) and have them in the big old jars with little metal scoops, customers can then scoop (or pick, lets be realistic, there'll definitely be some picking going on) the buttons into old fashioned paper bags and weigh them on the antique scale (as we'll be selling them by weight ofcourse) like you see in the bulk stores. Wouldn't that be fun? Now I just need some old jars. And a scale. And, well, a shop would be helpful too...

*Sigh*

So that's were we've been at lately. Christmas was lovely, magical, loud, and I'm glad it's over. It's so nice to not have to be rushing around, cursing at Mr. Pretties about things we still have yet to pick up, cleaning the house, cleaning the house, reprimanding the LPs for sabotaging my continuous cleaning efforts, and, my lack of interneting as been unfortunate. Have I mentioned Mr. Pretties is on vacay and is absorbing a lot of my time again? He is, and he has. It's really rather selfish of him, I know, I've told him. He doesn't care. Luckily this coming week is his last one.

From My Family To Yours...

And if you have some free time today (hahaha, right) take a few and watch this, it always makes me laugh.

Cute Idea...

That I stole. Clearly.

And since I stole it, I will also link to it. This is the Nesters take on cute little take along:

I love this idea! It's so simple, so yummy, and totally adorable. So adorable in fact that I went out and scored myself a cheese dome just like that ;) I also have red peppers and pectin on my shopping list (Read: Mr. Pretties shopping list, I don't do groceries) meaning that I shall be making some Red Pepper Jelly with Cream Cheese, some fancy crackers, an Apple Pie and a Bottle of wine for the land people. I will most definitely be using some ragamuffin strips too. Obviously. Although I renamed the ragamuffin strips 'Ribbonie Tumblie Fluff Fluffs' because there is something wrong upstairs. When I used those words to describe that little pile of scrappy adorableness on Nesters dome Mr. Pretties nearly turned the car around and drove straight to the closest mental health facility. No imagination is his problem.

I just wanted to share that simply sweet (and most importantly, yummy) idea with you all. It wasn't even an original idea, how sad am I? Mr. Pretties is on vacay for the next two weeks though, and we all know how that eats up blogging time. Two words for you Santa. Net. Book. Then I could pretend to be participating in a conversation, family time, whatever, but really be blogging away.

Dearest Santa...

I've been a very good girl this year, well, except for that time... oh, yeah, and then there was that time... okay, okay let's not get into that just now. We all know I was mostly good this year. No Santa, it is not bad to buy an old piece of furniture and tell Mr. Pretties I paid way lots less for it than I actually did. That's called the healthy approach to a happy relationship. Honestly, you should try it! Does Mrs. Clause know how much you paid for that red suede and white mink suit? Huh?! Uh huh, that's what I thought...

Moving right along here... For Christmas I would like:

1. Sony eBook Reader
2. Sony eBook Store Gift Card - Unlimited Please
3. One Pink NetBook. I'm not picky on brands or anything, so long as it's pink and will surf the net in true WiFi style I'm good to go.
4. An email from someone who'd love nothing more than to adopt a cat that likes to randomly pee everywhere. You know, because I sort of can't deal with this anymore... Help a girl out here!
5. An antidote for the 'Ass Kicking Eeyore' disease Mr. Pretties seems to have caught and can't rid himself of.
6. A straight jacket for LLP. It's for her own safety, obviously.

That is all. Merry Christmas Santa, and keep an eye out for your cookies and beer, I'll leave them beside the fireplace. Oh and sorry about the cheap beer, but you know, Mr. Pretties works at the brewery and that's what we get. I know, I know, slim pickings Santa, but I'll bake the cookies myself ;)

Thanks Santa.

Love, Jenn

Ps. I snatched that picture because at first glance it was cute... now it's kind of afraid, it looks like he's going to choke the sleeping little ones... Nice one Santa... Geez...

Wow...

Did you know there's such a thing as a NetBook? Not a NoteBook computer, no no, a NetBook Wifi Computer. And if you were aware of this piece of totally cute technologies existance why didn't someone inform me?

I was all browsing the flyers this afternoon as Aunt Pretties has the two LPs for the afternoon and I found myself having five minutes to myself. So as I was browsing I came across the Staples ad. That's about as exciting to me as the Sobey's ad. Yippee. Total sarcasm by-the-way. But, I saw what I thought was a cheap notebook (I'm trying to talk Mr. Pretties into purchasing one so I can utilize our WiFi net capabilities, furthering my steps to moonlight blogging) and as I look closer I discover it's a NetBook. A computer specifically for the net! Have I ever told you that that is all I use my computer for? I never use it for word processing or the like because this computer is garbage, I do all that at Aunt Pretties. My favorite part? This:

It comes in pink. It's small, pink, and it can allow me to blog, research, and email. Fantastic. That's all I need. Now from my pitance of knowledge on the PDA horizon, this is really not any different than, say, a Black Berry, but for some reason I just want it 5,000 times more. Maybe it's because it's pink. I just think this is so cool. In two days I've come across two pieces of technology that would improve my life ten fold. I suppose I could read ebooks on my Netbook, but come on, who wants to miss out on the whole eInk experience? Surely not I.

Greatest. Invention. Ever.

Seriously.

I don't do technology for the most part. I don't own an mp3 player, and I don't want to. My cellphone is uncharged and dead somewhere, I wouldn't even know where to begin to look for it. And I don't care. We don't have a GPS. We've debated it, but, we like getting lost. It's sort of our thing. We don't have portable DVD players either. Infact, we don't even have cable *Insert shocked face here* but we usually don't for the summer because we're either never home, or never ever in the house to watch it. In the winter we're just like everyone else and obviously I'm a big fan of HGTV, Antiques Roadshow, and the like. Also, we all know I have an unquenchable need for a pink Dell laptop. Aside from that I thought I'd beaten technology for the most part (A computer is considered technology anymore, is it?)

Until today that is.

Meet my new best friend:

Group, say hello to the Sony eBook Reader.

I'd heard of Amazon's Kindle, but for $360 US+ I didn't look into it too closely. You also cannot use it in Canada. The Sony eBook Reader is a mere $200-$250 and does practically the same thing.

I'll give the Kindle thumbs up for it's totally cool wifi capabilities... but, for us 'poor' folks, I think I can handle plugging my Reader into my computer to download books, newspapers, oh, and most importantly, blogs. It can also store around 160 ebooks. Amazing. The Sony eBook preview store (You use the actual software to download your books) is fantastic. It has any book you could ever imagine, and even some that you couldn't! I could easily see why you would need space for 160 ebooks!

I'm a huge reader and am forever having to listen to Mr. Pretties complain because there's a 3' stack of books on my bedside table, dresser, on top of the fridge, on the mantel, in his drawers, etc... do you know how much time this would save him?! He'd have to find a whole entire other entity to complain about to fill the void this would create! You also save approx. 10% on your book purchases from the eBook store.

I knew you could download books, but sitting at the computer trying to read totally didn't appeal to me at. all. But, the Kindle and the Reader have 'paper technology' so that looking at the screen is almost identical to looking at a page and not a screen at all. I'm sorry, but how amazing is that? If you see the pictures online of the screen you'll see what I mean. It's seriously like looking at a piece of paper. I get migraines from reading too much on a screen and I think I could totally handle this. You can also adjust the size of the text so that it's just right for you (or me. Obviously). Fabbity fab I tell you!

This is truly what I want for this Christmas, Easter, my Anniversary, my Birthday, etc... Now if they could throw in a Black Berry so that I could blog during the night, that would be even better. I'm sure they can arrange that....

*Big Sigh*

Honestly, you'd be amazed how healing 30 minutes of absolute quiet can be. Seriously. It can take screeching banshees, demolition salvage, and frayed nerves and turn them into fluttering butterflies, a spa retreat, and total relaxation. Ahh....

Kidding. Sort of.

The LP's are sound asleep in their beds. My house is trashed from ten hours of LP-palooza, but I'm okay with that. For atleast the next ten minutes anyway, then I have to snap to it and restore this house to it's original lustre. Or atleast make it look half decent. Whatever. But, in my improved mood it's made me feel busting out the camera and sharing my apron finds, which may or may not have fueled a new and unhealthy addiction...

This one is really cute, it's sheer organza with a vintage apple print. So cute.

There's just something about this one that I really like. It's so crisp and neat, and the colours are really relaxing. Can't you picture someone's mom or grandma in the kitchen baking a pie in this?

I was going to share my vintage linen pillowcases too, but they sort of need to be ironed. A lot. Especially after sitting in the dryer all night, and, I'm not really in the ironing kind of mood... that really only happens once a year and it's already happened for this current fiscal year thanks.

I'm Just Not Funny Today...

... Or as Mr. Pretties would say, anyday, except we all know that's not true. I really wanted to do a humour filled post today, but, that's just not going to happen.

As it happens, LLP has become a source of stress for me. She makes me want to run away from home. Not that I would. Obviously. LLP likes to climb. Alot. She likes to colour. But only on things that aren't paper or otherwise intended for colouring. She likes to do funny things like cover my bedroom mirror in bum paste, colour on our nice white fridge with black and brown permanent marker, and cover herself and my tables in Caesar salad dressing.

Now, I know you're saying:

'That's terrible, but Jenn, where are you when this is taking place?'

That's a very good question, I'm glad you asked. As it happens I also have LBP and BLP that require my time, attention, and my advanced skills as a nappy changer. I also have to do laundry on occasion, say, 10 times a day. Totally no big deal though. In addition, LLP is fast. Very fast. In the time it took me to change LBPs nappy (one of those super fab ones that goes all the way up the back, my personal favorite) LLP had managed to push a stool up to the counter, dump my apple cider mix all over the counter, run into the hall and dump fist fulls of cat litter on the floor (ick), and fetch the dressing out of the fridge and douse herself, the floor, and my coffee table in it. Completely. Seriously. And since she is also extremely quiet (sneaky?) I'm usually totally unsuspecting until BAM! there it is, my house, sabotaged.

To say she drives me insane is an under statement lately. She requires her own parental team that has nothing to do but follow her around all day and then sit outside her bedroom door at night (She likes to do some night wandering, what can I say?).

We have more locks on things in this house than I ever knew they made. Did you know they make microwave locks and toilet lid locks? I had no idea, and quite frankly, I was enjoying my ignorance regarding the lock situation. Now I have to turn combos, fit keys, push and pull, push and turn, and my current fav, push, pull and swear. Repeatedly. All this just to get some freaking Lysol wipes out of the cupboard, go to the potty, or nuke a bottle. This makes me very unhappy and saps the majority of my energy (ahahaha, that would be if I had any to begin with).

This series of events is usually followed up by Mr. Pretties coming home wanting to know why he isn't walking into a reenactment of the 50's completed with me waiting by the door ready to light his cigarette, hand him a martini, serve him a hot roast, and read him the bloody newspaper. I may own vintage pieces, I may have a love affair with all things vintage, hey, I may even be vintage (I am by the way), but I do not live in a vintage era. Sorry about your lucky. I find myself frequently sending him back to work at night just to look for the reality he's clearly misplaced somewhere along the way.

Ahh... Sweet Sweet Remedy...

... The situation has been remedied. Apparently it was all a big confusion/misunderstanding and there is no need to part with antiques. Except for my Jelly Cupboard, but that's okay it went to a much nicer home than mine ;)

Infact, so remedied is my situation that we went junking this morning and picked up some embroidered vintage linens, tables runners, and some really cute vintage aprons. Love them. Once I have them all cleaned up I'll be posting pictures.

Just so you can see how nuts I really am.

Locked In...

... The bathroom.

*Snort*

As I was waking up from my nap I heard the tell tale sounds of someone locked in the bathroom.

*Turn, turn, turn-turn-turn-turn *

*#*%$#!*

yank, yank, yank-yank-yank-yank*

*Damn it!*

Followed by Mr. Pretties telling LLP to 'go get Mommy'.

Sure enough, Mr. Pretties has some how managed to lock himself in the bathroom. Uh huh. In his defense the bathroom lock is finicky, to say the least. So it was single handedly my job to get him out. We throw out all metal coat hangers so that wasn't an option (We will save one token one from now on), no nail was long enough, Mr. Pretties doesn't allow me to keep ice picks in the house, for various reasons ofcourse...
So, we had the following discussion through the door.

Mr. Pretties: Go downstairs and look for a coat hanger or something...

Me: Sure, I'll be right back. *Walks to computer, sits down and surfs Kijiji. Walks back bathroom door* Nope, no coat hangers down there!

Mr. Pretties: *&^%$)! Okay, can you slip a knife under the door?

Me: You're going to kill yourself just because you're locked in the bathroom? Don't you dare, I can't wrangle these three solo -

Mr. Pretties: I JUST NEED TO GET THESE SCREWS OUT! SCREW DRIVER! STAT!

Me: Okay, okay. Jeez... *Get self a drink... check on LBP who's nap was undisturbed... take some Tylenol... grab butter knife fling it under door* Here you are my sweet!

About 30 minutes later a knob, accompanied by a broken door knob, emerged from the bathroom prison. I have to say I was more than a little disappointed... Kidding... Mostly...

My Name Is Jenn...

... And I'm an old furniture-a-holic...

*Hi Jenn...*

*Jenn, is there anything you'd like to share with the group today?*

'You know Pam, I think there is. My husband sent me to this group to seek out the support of people with the same type problems as me an-'

*Jenn, old furniture hording is not a problem, it's simply a personality quirk that you have to work to control*

'Oh Right, I know that, totally not a problem at all. To me anyway. This week alone I've tried to talk my husband into allowing me to purchase the following:'

Antique Black Dress w/o Mirror (I have a twin to this) that I've convinced I could find an appropriate mirror for ($45):

Antique Hutch/Server w/peeling veneer. Bowed front glass. I think it would be fabulous stripped, painted antique white w/glass knobs ($55):

And atleast 10 other items that there are no longer pictures of. Notice the prices are quite reasonable. Also notice that I am not a driver. If I were I would not be discussing these purchases with Mr. Pretties prior to bringing them home. As it stands though, Mr. Pretties must consent to go with me to pick these items up, and, well, if he thinks we have too much furniture, no room, or something entirely ridiculous like that, then I lose.

Part of our problem is, say, take the server. Our conversation mostly goes like this:

Me: Mr. Pretties, check out this server, isn't it fabulous?!

MP: Uh... it's all chipped and it's that veneer that you don't like...

Me: *Dramatic sigh* I know that, it would need to be stripp-

MP: When do you have time to strip it?! Where are you going to put it while it's being done?! Do you know how to strip furniture because I don't!

Me: Ofcourse I know how (I could look it up, ask the landman, sand it all off... whatever) and I'd find time, it could go in the basement for now.

MP: Uh... Jenn? WE CAN'T MOVE IN THE BASEMENT AS IT IS!

Me: So?

MP: I'm going outside to have a smoke. Please don't talk to me about servers anymore.

Me: Whatever (We will be discussing this later my friend... you just wait...)

Is it my fault we have ten pieces of antique furniture in our 10x10 dining room and can't walk in it? Okay, it probably is, but I plan to have a big house one day, so it's totally acceptable. If only Mr. Pretties could 'see' things the way I do before we purchase them then he could see how that server would make a marvelous shabby chic piece and would be all over it for a mere $55. He lacks imagination though. Now if I told him I could buy it, strip it, paint it, flip it and profit $100 - $150 he'd be all over it. Men.

By the way, the black desk/vanity (I think we decided it was a vanity) has now found it's forever home :) I know someone would love it, that's exactly why I rescued it from the thrift shop and slapped on a new coat of paint and performed sticker removal, so it could be all purdy for it's new owners.

I'm sweet like that.

Could I Order A Dish of Peace...

... With a side of quiet?

Ugh.

Today was just one of those days. Seriously.

I don't even have any funny left to discuss in some kind of humorous way. I'm fresh out of funny just now.

*Electrician that I did. not. know. was coming showed up at 7:45am this morning. This does not make me happy.

*Electrician makes 10 holes in my freshly painted kitchen in order to fashion an additional outlet we do not require.

*Electrician trashes and monopolized my kitchen from 8am-6pm, resulting in me becoming highly annoyed. And they get to come back again tomorrow.

*Electrician asks if they're inconveniencing us today by being there... Uh... of course not, doesn't everyone love trying to feed three kids and a husband in a kitchen full of ladders/tools/fallen plaster/dust/men/etc... ?

*LPs utilize their nap time to pull all clothing from dressers

*LLP throws litter out of the cat box. This would have severed my last nerve. If I still had one at this point.

*Mr. Pretties decides we need to erect the Christmas tree, the real Christmas tree. Swearing and cursing ensued.

*I have The Laryngitis. Thus, I have no voice. Do you know how hard it is to use your mommy voice when you no longer have one? On top of that, the kids think it's a riot? I could not cut it as a mute, it provokes rage in me like no other.

*The Fonz has eaten something that is causing him to foam at the mouth. At this point in the day I don't even care...

Needless to say, the LPs have been hauled to bed two hours early (They go to bed late, so I'm not being mean), the house is reassembled, my voice is shot, and I hear the bath tub calling my name, in addition, in the words of Mamalicious 'I think I need a beverly...'.

Clearly.

Am I A Desk, Or A Vanity...

... You decide...

Okay for those who're emailing asking me what I'm talking about here's the back story:

Mr. Pretties and I went junking this morning :)

BLP went to preschool this morning, LLP went to Aunt Pretties for the morning, and LBP is no problem at all, he's like not having anyone in the car at all. So, in our peaceful and quieted state we (I) decided to go junking at the thrift store.

This desk/vanity is what we (I) came up with, for a mere $5.

I'm not sure as of yet whether I'll flip it (at a reasonable price, clearly) or keep it... Mr. Pretties says flip it for extra Christmas money, I say 'wouldn't this look fabulous in the kitchen under that black shelf thing?!'

And so it goes...

I'll list it and we'll go from there.

If no one wants it, well, I guess I'll just have to keep it.

And put it in the kitchen.

Darn.

Front

(Top drawer is rounded and 'in' more than the rest and the stickers are currently being removed)

Side

You can see how it's 'in' at the top and how it's constructed

Front of drawers

(That's a water drop, not a key hole) and castors with scallops along that bottom wooden strip.

Julie - Do you have any idea? I'm thinking vanity because of the 'mirror ledge' but what era?

Oldie But Goodie...

... Thanks Julie!

That's what I was thinking...

Love...

... Cordelia's Cottage located in San Diego, CA

This blog is about a couple who own an antique shop. Need I say more?

I thought not.

Besides living my own personal dream, they have fabulous things like this:

And their shop is adorable like this:

And like this:

And she suggests fantastic books like Cottages by the Sea by Linda Leigh Paul where you can see amazing little cottages like this:

Cordelia's Cottage will now be living on our sidebar, because anyone who reads this blog will love that blog as much as I do. Even though I can't actually buy anything... Hmm... maybe they ship?

Apparently they do ship. Worldwide infact... I stumbled across their Ebay store this evening, you know, because I'm a stalker like that... Hey, we already knew that, so don't be all making those 'Omg...' eyes at me. Anyways... If you're a stalker too... I mean interested here's the link:

Cottage Antiques on Ebay

PSA Re: 'The Camel'...

... Toe that is...

I interrupt our usually pink and fluffy posting for this very important PSA.

Dear Giant Tiger Shopper;

When you're trying on pants, and the viewing mirrors are on the outside of the change rooms please don't loudly broadcast to your mother, sister, and friend that you believe said pants give you a camel toe. Seriously. If you find yourself making this public faux pas please do not further embarrass yourself by asking your mother if she knows what a camel toe is. And, sadly, if all else fails, please do not try to remedy the situation by following it up with 'Well, it's not that big of a camel toe...' while carefully examining your crotchal area in the tri-fold mirrors in the middle of ladies wear.

Honestly.

By the way, this is not the type of camel toe in question, clearly, since this camel toe is cute:

So Sweet...

...and simply genius. Seriously. I caught this on The Whole Caboodle from InchMark and it is so genius I feel like a complete moron for not owning a brain capable of coming up with this kind of cuteness. The picture alone is complete adorable:

So now you're saying 'yeah, totally cute jar... but why is it full of litter...' It's totally not full of litter at all. In fact, it's full of all the hilarious/adorable/unforgettable (until you forget 10 seconds later) things you children say each day. I don't know about you, but the LP's say some pretty jar worthy things each day. Then again they definitely say some UN-jar worthy things too...

However...

Like how about the time... yeah... I'd have to get up and look in my memory jar in order to fill you in on that one... Don't look at me like that, I do remember the LP's saying cute, hilarious, and no doubt embarrassing things, but, they're all being loud right now and my brain can't think under loud circumstances.

That explains a lot doesn't it?

MmmHmm... Oh go get you a memory jar and leave me alone (Don't really, then I'd be talking to myself. I do enough of that already...)

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days...

Garfield will now be known as:

The Fonz... Aka Fonzie

Check the thumbs, are they not brothers from another mother?

Aaaayh!

That's what I thought.

Can Your Brain Be Used As A BlackBerry...

...You know, because you can use a BlackBerry as a brain and all.

Do you know how fab this blog would be if I had one? For some reason, whether it be alcohol consumpsion, medication, or 30 seconds of complete relaxation and quiet, but before I fall alseep I come up with the most inspired posts you'll never read. Seriously.

I think up these great posts and then I'm like 'Wow... that was an amazing post, if I hadn't just thought I wouldn't think my brain capable of such guiness in it's purest form... I would win the hypathetical Nobel Peace Blog Prize for that... I should get out of bed and go type it... Right now... Am I there yet?

ZzZzZzZzZzZz....'

Yeah I'm awesome like that.

So if you want to blame the blogs recent suckiness on something, blame in on my lack of a BlackBerry. Between that and a Pink Dell I just don't have the completely necessary tools to come up with fabness.
Instead, you'll have to listen to my Kijiji rants, my need for old crap I have absolutely no room for, and the top 50 list of things Mr. Pretties does to annoy me.

Like scratch his chest hair.

I can. not. stand that sound.

*Shudder*

See what I mean?

Twins... Or Not...

EDIT: Twin WashStands = DENIED

What is with people selling things before I see them?! That's not how it's supposed to be at all! But the seller did email me and said 'I'm sorry, it's already sold, for the full asking price even, I'm surprised!' (I told him I'd pay full price, so I didn't lose out because I was bartering) So that kind of made me laugh, for three reasons:

1. He called it an 'Old Cabinet' (It's clearly an antique washstand)
2. He sold it for $40 and thought he hosed someone (In actuality it's worth $100+ and he got hosed)
3. He said 'It may even be antique, but it's old' (It absolutely is an antique, say, 80 or 90 years old...)

So what does someone like me do in the face of a situation like that? I kindly email them back and tell them in a sticky-sweet way that I hope the buyer enjoys their ANTIQUE WASHSTAND because they got a ridiculously good deal on it!

I'm passive aggressive like that.

Was it necessary? Not at all. I kind of feel bad actually, in a not-really-kind-of-way...
Am I always like that? Amost Never. Seriously. I'm the least confrontational person you'll ever meet.

But I really, really needed it. It was one of those few occasions Mr. Pretties actually agreed with me (about needing another piece of furniture, not about emailing the seller, he thought that was rude, that from Mr. Rude himself...) I almost felt a tear when he sold it, how sad is that?! I never do that.

Alas, another X for Kijiji.

Remember when I was talking about the wash stand Mr. Pretties broke the doors on? Perfect.

Black-Painted-Washstand, say hello to Original-Finish-Washstand, your long lost twin.

Even the hardware is the same, except we're obviously idiots and have ours on upside down... And yes, Black-Painted-Washstands doors only had one knob like that too. They only want $40 for it. I hope someone hasn't bought it because I'm all about having things the same... Mr. Pretties will not be thrilled about this concept. Then again he wasn't thrilled about 'Franken-Buick' either which was a genius idea. Clearly. (Have I told you about that one? I'll have too look and see, if not I will because it was a fabulous concept)

If this has been sold I will cry. Seriously. And please note I have NO place for this to go, I do NOT need it, and it does NOT match anything we have. Motive? To have identical twin washstands... Don't look at me like that, I've been very upfront about my , let's say, quirkiness...

Without Further Delay...

... Tea anyone?

MmmKay... well it looks about 500,000x better in person... Seriously it looks all cute and cozy and tea like. Here it looks like a white table with ugly chair pads. Not so. It's not quite done yet either, the frames aren't all filled yet, a mirror is going above that stool on the right and to the left behind that wall is a fireplace covered in cuties. There's also a big tall window beside that. If I get my vintage cabinet it'll go under those frames.

I wish I had the before pictures, I just took dining room pictures last week and they got deleted off the camera because I figured 'When am I ever going to need these?!' Good one. It's not that it looks so much better as it just looks so different.

Here's the photo wall up close. Those are both mine and Mr. Pretties' family. It's totally not done and I will paint that frame at the top ;)

How great is this chair?! Could it be any crappier, chippier, or old? I think not! It's actually the only one like that, the other two are plain. Can't you just picture some farmer sitting on it having his grits and a biscuit?!

I'm going to leave this post at that. I'm still having Kijiji issues and it's making me almost not want to deal through the site anymore, I think there are a lot of safety flaws. It's way too easy for someone to have multiple accounts with multiple names and if you say no to an offer they can email you from the other and get your address, etc... and show up anyway. No thanks.

I just scrolled back up, I cannot believe how crappy that picture looks. I think it's our crappy camera and it's wussy 6mp resolution or what it is. Trust me, IRL it looks cute. Real cute...

Remember This...

Yes? Good.

Do you remember I was purchasing it for $75, had arranged to pick it up and then all of a sudden the seller disappeared and the ad was deleted?

Yes? Perfect.

Well as I was surfing Kijiji this afternoon I see this:


Hmm... Look familiar? I thought so too...

Except now it's a 'Shabby Chic Antique Dresser' for $160.

Rrriigghhhttt.... Now, in all fairness that dresser is really worth much closer to $160 than $75, but that doesn't give you permission to be a dick about it and stand people up just because you weren't smart enough to know what your piece was worth before listing. Just saying.

Now, what lesson did we learn today?

If you want to sell something white/cream and/or old, make sure to list it as 'Shabby Chic' (aka old and crappy - which I lurve) and it will undoubtedly up your pieces worth by atleast 50%.

Are you thinking I:

A) have too much time on my hands and
B) need to take a break from Kijiji? Me too. Seriously.
I feel like I'm working in retail all over again with all the aggravation everywhere.

This week so far I've had:

* A lady who was po'd because I wouldn't give her a freaking house tour and made her stay in our entrance way for our very small sale (a pair of friggen gloves, don't really think that warrants a tea party) she actually asked if she could come in and look around like I owed it to her and was obviously raised in a barn for not asking... and was acting totally weird about it... Normally I'd be thrilled to show people through, I'm a big fan of 'show and tell' but some how rude people don't elicit the same enthusiasm in me. Sorry.

*A no show who then tries to claim she's been phoning me for days and I've been ignoring her. I would totally buy the not answering the phone thing as we all know how I feel about the phone, but, no dice. There were no calls yesterday. Period. And why exactly is it that now all of a sudden you call and get a machine? Maybe because it's the first time you've called? Or maybe you're incapable of pressing the 'recall' button on your phone and have been harassing the wrong people, who in return ignored you? And maybe since you were too rude to call and say you couldn't make it at the arranged time you should spend sometime giving yourself attitude instead of wasting it on me. You know that chair I have that you just lurve and have the table to match?
Guess what?

NO CHAIR FOR YOU.

How do you like them apples?!

There are more, but we wont go there right now.

Kijiji seems to bring out my angry side, I don't like spending time with my angry side, it really down plays my whole unicorns on cupcakes on puppies with cartoon squirrels personality.

I think a nap is in order. For me. The LPs can nap too if they like...

There Is A God...

... And she loves Sock Monkeys.

My sewing machine works. I was positive it was DOA, and had been for the last three years.

Sock Monkeys to ensue...

Edit:

Actually, no she doesn't. Nope. She tried to lull me into a false sense of security. The monkey has a body, legs, a tail, and cut outs for arms and ears. Everything is DONE except for those arms and ears and now the friggen thing wont stay threaded. I seem to recall this being the issue I had three years ago. I do NOT have patience for this. No, no I don't.

Edit 2:

I just want you all to know that I'm a quiter. Seriously. I don't know how anyone is supposed to sew with three kids under foot, one shrieking at the top of their lungs, one jumping on the couch and saying 'Mommy, what's this? But why?!' and the other running past the machine and unplugging the cord each. and. every. time. Ugh.

So, now I'll go look on Etsy for someone to make me a sock monkey or 5, since they must have piece and quiter, or are deaf, or take special medication (specialer than mine) to make them not to ring their pretties necks while crafting.

Seriously, if you've never looked up sock monkey instructions (if you need some let me know, I found a good one with pictures, kind of like sock monkeys for dummies) they are the easiest things to make. For this reason I am particularly annoyed that the LPs and the sewing-machine-from-hell have to rain on my parade like that.

Calgon... take me away...

PS - What the hell is wrong with the spacing on Blogger?! Seriously?! I am not spacially challenged, I did space my paragraphs, etc... but once I publish them Blogger has it all squashed today. I even edit the HTML and it still gives me attitude. Can you tell I'm about two seconds away from some kind of flip out? Oh good, BP has found a rattle...

Sometimes Monkeys Die...

... more to the point sometimes people on Kijiji need a punch to the nose.

I'm beginning to think I may have Kijiji issues... If someone says to you 'I will buy this dresser, I can buy it right this second...' and they say 'Okay good, come by tomorrow' and then when you confirm details the next day and they say 'Oh, I thought the person who came and got it was you...' and clearly it was, how do you feel about that? Exactly. Punch. In. The. Face.

But, I'm on to bigger and better things. Alright, maybe not better. It's more like the rebound thing, but I still like it. Once I take off those atrocious red knobs an replace them with more appropriate glass ones...

Fortunately this will also match my 'Queen Mum' inspired 'tea room' (I no longer feel dining room is an appropriate description) and will probably be more useful. Although Mr. Pretties still wont have anywhere to store his clothes... Meh.

Julie - I would love nothing more than to go junking with you. Seriously. I would be more than happy to drive into some dumpsters as well, I'm so not above that. I think maybe I need to take a 'vacation', quite possible within driving distance of your house...

Simple Woman's Day Book...

I did this a few weeks ago, it was kind of fun so I think I'll do it again today.

FOR TODAY November 24th, 2008...

Outside my window...

It's already dark. I believe it's raining also. My spray paint projects are out there and I'm not getting them.

I am thinking...

Holy cow, I am so tired I might just fall asleep right here. The kids would be fine, right? I'm also thinking 'someone hurry up and pick up this dresser so I can call the man to deliver mine!'

I am thankful for...

Hot bubble baths and Earl Grey tea.

From the kitchen...

I can feel a draft. We've been without heat for three weeks and counting (waiting on replacement boiler, ugh)

I am wearing...

My blue fuzzy pajams.

I am creating...

A black and white family photo wall

I am going...

To go to bed as soon as Mr. Pretties gets here.

I am reading...

Nothing. Which is shocking because I have a new stack of books. I haven't had time to sit and read them quietly at night lately, the LP's have been major night owls.

I am hoping...

That Mr. Pretties doesn't mind he'll have no where to put his clothes once I sell that dresser LoL

I am hearing...

TLB cry, he is angry that he is in his jumper for more than 30 seconds. I know, I suck. This is followed by BP crying because I wont let her get sugar and spaghetti sauce from the kitchen for her play food. Who wouldn't love to sweep up 1,000lbs of sugar for the sake of a perfectly sweet plastic pie?!

Around the house...

Everything has changed. Nothing is where it was last week. It's a good thing.

One of my favorite things...

Currently one of my favorite things is linen bedding. Mmmm.... it has the yummiest smell, the best feeling and truly improves sleep x100

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

Oh yes dresser, you will be mine...

Crack Me Up...

... Omg, I'm totally laughing here. I've received four emails this morning asking where my post is! I'm working on it, I promise. Honestly though? I just spray painted about 723,000 photo frames, a lamp (bye bye nasty gold), a vintage bread box, and thatched chair, and an urn. My hand is covered in spray paint and smells. My house smells like a permanent market blew up in it and I have to trace the frames onto paper so I can place them right on the walls. I also have to matte the photos and frame them. That kind of sounds like a lot of work... it's a lot easier to just take a nap and pretend I'm waiting for the paint to dry still... I also don't think we have camera batteries again. How about if I put it off until tomorrow, but, include my new sock monkey pictures? Yes? Excellent...

Post To Follow...

... I haven't gone on one of my temporary holidays where I totally forget I have a blog. (You couldn't be so lucky. Sorry.) But Mr. Pretties and I just finished rearranging out entire house (we do this approx. every four months, we have issues...) and I am A) exhausted B) So sore it's not even funny, and, C) I need to take pictures, there is NO point blogging about my new dining set or the other vintage funs I came across this weekend without them.

Be prepared... picture overload tomorrow... hopefully...

No One Is Null And Void...

... Of hair pretties in this house.

Please note, this is Sabbath. As in Black Sabbath, and... he is a boy...

Can you tell how thrilled he is to be wearing a bow?

I think in his old age (He's 6 years old, that's like, 70, in people years) he's becoming senile and simple doesn't know or care what I'm doing so long as he doesn't have to do anything.

He wears his clippies so well though, how can I not allow this to continue?

I rest my case...

Friday Flea Market...

... Is today!

Follow this red spotted piece of fab and check out some must have vintage funs. Who ever thought of putting the flea market online is a genius. Clearly.

I'll be listing some of my vintage/antique finds next Friday, I just found out about this yesterday and have a huge mom sale to prepare for tomorrow, so it's just not going to happen today. Crap.

And if you make any purchase from these great umm... I guess we'll call them 'stalls' for the sake of keeping it flea markety, post me a comment and let me know what you got (I'm nosey like that) and if you can post a link to it, we all want to know what you got!

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

... Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens

Brown paper packages tied up with strings

These are a few of my favorite things...

When the dog bites

When the bee stings

When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel, so bad...

Okay, so maybe those things aren't exactly my cup of tea, well, except for perhaps the whiskers on kittens, who doesn't love that?!

After yesterdays post about all the Kijiji treasures that I couldn't have it made me think of the 'treasures' I have in my own house that I'm in a perpetual love cycle with. These are a few of my favorite things (Or, shall we say, 'Good Things' - Thanks Martha)

First up today, freshly acquired for the landpretties yesterday:

a Victorian Parlor Table, complete with coordinating cat (Yes there is also one in the window):

This cupboard doesn't get nearly enough attention around here, it's an old jam cupboard (we use it to store Little People ;)) that we bought at Aberfoyle two summers ago:

Telephone table we bought from an antique yard sale in the county, complete with eight legged stool we bought from the landpretties:

Old decrepit barn window without the glass (who needs glass?!) that I got from a flea market:

Victorian chair we were given by the landpretties:

Antique dresser with tilting mirror, wooden knobs, and wooden casters (This is being cremated with me. Seriously. I had someone offer me $90 for it the other day and I turned them down, Mr. Pretties wasn't thrilled) I was gifted this from the landpretties. You can also sneak a peek at my pocket door, I love that thing, that's the only reason we live here:

This is a corner cabinet that I got from a barn sale. Literally a sale where things stored in a barn on a farm were pulled out for people to dig through. LOVED it. It used to have a mirror in it but it was all peeling and needed to be re foiled, so, I pulled it out. Who needs a mirror, or, umm... glass for that matter? Not me.

The lady wanted $20 for this peeling piece of crap (The paint was majorly peeling and gross). I said $15. She said no. I walked away. I came back and I said $18. She said hells no, she'd already lowered the price for the day and I was lucky to get it for$20. I said what a bloody rip off for such a piece of crap and stalked off in true b!tch fashion. On the way to the car I handed Mr. Pretties $20 and told him to go back and buy it for the $20. I'm such a loser. :

* Say Hi to Grandma and Grandpa Pretties, they hang out in that cobalt jar up there, once in a while I take the jar down and give them a shaking, you know, so they don't get bored in there.

Lastly is my antique washstand. This was the first piece of furniture Mr. Pretties and I bought together. We bought it at a garage sale for $20 and thought we were getting hosed large (we didn't know what it was) but as it turns out it is far more valuable than that. Please note, it used to have two doors as well. Mr. Pretties doesn't comprehend that antiques may be delicate, thus slamming them is clearly a stupid idea. Honestly, would you go about body slamming a 90 year old man?! I thought not. Thus commenced the lesson if you slam antique doors they crack in half and are irreplaceable. Uh huh. Let me tell you, that happened five years ago and he stills hears about it...:

Check out how fab the original hardware is, it looks like a mask:

So those are a few of my favorite things. I seriously could have posted a million more pictures, but, again, I understand you're humouring me and I've done this to you two days in a row. Sorry about that.

Hey now, if anyone does a 'favorite things' post on their blog PLEASE comment with the link so I can see your favorite things, this one sided relationship is hardly fair!

I also have a new quote:

"aww, the inside of your brain would be so cute...like little dancing squirrels, cartoon unicorns, and pink sprinkles..."

Aww... Thanks... I think...