Friday, March 2, 2012

You Have To Know It's Going To Be A Bad Day...

Or... Why do I want to buy a product called 'Unicorn Farts'?!

I love Etsy.  Really love.  I used to sell there quite a bit.  I used to buy there quite a bit more.  But this pregnancy has made me indecisive (that may or may not be the biggest understatment ever typed by human hands) which has seriously hampered my ability to purchase things online, particularly on Etsy.  I probably lurk Etsy everyday atleast once, because you just never know what farm/chicken/french country/vintage type thing may have been listed in the last, oh, hour.  But I can't purchase.  I can put stuff in my cart, I've had a cart full heirloom veggie seeds that I've thinned and thicked out so many times the cart is ready to explode.  But I cannot utilize the 'Pay Now' or whatever that button is that arranges to have large sums of my money turned into large sums of someone else's and a happy jaunt to the mail box.  I just can't.  Not that I don't intend to purchase, I just intend to do it 'later, after the littlest is napping...'  I obviously have issues.  Have I mentioned I can no longer answer my phone either? It's getting pathetic.

So some how I ended up logged onto my dear friend Etsy this morning (does anyone else find themselves on the Etsy home page and have no idea how they got there, don't remember typing in the address or conciously thinking they'd like to be there?!) and there was exactly what I needed without even running a search. Unicorn Farts. I snapped that puppy up and threw two in my cart (I seldom buy more than one of something, but I was quick this morning - could not chance one of the littles tossing it in the dryer/garbage/out the window/in a diaper) and slammed on that 'Buy It Now'  button while images of skipping to my mail box (which is no less than 500 miles away from our house) while rainbow sparkles trickled from my feet, finding the little red flag up and waving at me, throwing back the little door as golden beams spilled out of box interior where a perfect little package laid waiting, encasing what would no doubt be the much coveted Unicorn Farts.    But what's this?  What is the computer screen trying to tell me?  It's saying something along the lines of 'Aww... too bad, we have just single handedly dashed all your future hopes and dreams.  All of the Unicorn Farts lip balms of Etsy have already been purchased by those far more awesome than yourself.  There will  still be skipping to the mail box of golden glory, but it will not be by you.  But, while we're on the topic, would you like to mark this item as a favorite instead, so it can be a constant reminder of the epic fail that is your purchasing ability?' Umm... I'm going to go with no on that one...

When this typeof  situation brings tears to your eyes, you have to know it's not going to be a good day. For you, or anyone else in your immediate vicinity.  And you should probably think about Googling 'therapy' in your immediate local area. Just saying.

1 comment:

  1. This was hysterical. Now I will be thinking of Unicorn Farts throughout the day! I guess it's a good thing, sometimes, that we can't get everything we want. :-)