And Baby Makes... Woah!

First things first, here is Mr. Owen, the newest LP around here:

   Unfortunately Mr. Owen did not get to be a homebirth after all, which I thought was totally fine.  Then again I thought pretty much anything that involved me being released from the hospital was a plus.  You're having an eye lash plucking and eye gouging party? And it's not at the hospital? I am SO there! However, over the last two weeks (TWO weeks!!! Already!!!) I've realized I'm becoming increasingly (as in the opposite of decreasingly, which would be something a normal person would be experiencing...) disappointed with this tid bit of fact.  It's almost as if I hadn't realized that this was so and then reality decided to press send on his iPhone with this:

Reality: Hey Jenn, this is reality calling!
Jenn: Oh hey reality, so great to hear from you! FYI my Unicorn Farts came in the mail the other day, so eat that!
Reality: Right... Anyway, I just wanted to take a second to touch base with you re: Owen and all your hopes and dreams via the homebirth.  That you didn't have.  Because you were at the hospital instead...  You ARE aware of this, am I right?
Jenn: Uh... Ofcourse I am.... Yeah... Oh... Ugh... *Insert Wicked Witch melting into a puddle of green ooze scene here*

I don't think I've ever beat myself up after a delivery.  I've always been happy with how things went down, and most of all, how things turned out (ie. we got to take home a healthy baby - for which we are forever thankful) and never really thought back on it with anything but those warm fuzzy feelings that you like to replay in your head from time to time.  Good stuff.  This time I'm disappointed about being referred back to the hospital (thank you pregnancy induced hypertension) for an induction (with my midwives - yay!) and THEN for getting an epidural.  I've had one 3 out of 4 previous deliveries, never thought much of it, and now I'm all 'You frigging wuss! What was that about??  If you already feel like you're being ripped in half, what's another 90 minutes of feeling like you're going to be ripped in half?! Honestly!!' which is hurting my psyche. Or whatever.  So I'm not sure what those internal affairs are about, but I'll let my mental being and emotional being sort that out.  I'm sure we'll all be on the same page in a couple weeks.  Or something. I'm also sorting out my emo issues concerning the fact that in four short weeks my midwifery care will come to an end.  I, however, am not ready for it to come to an end. Ever. I tried to tell Mr. Pretties about this dilemma this morning but was unable to verbalize these feelings without choking up and getting teary eyed.  I decided I'd just talk about it with myself.  In my head.  Where I probably wont cry about it.  Okay, I probably will, but only in my head and I wont feel like a huge tool.  So to sum things up, our baby is deliciousness wrapped in a blanket and we are loving on him big time.  Unfortunately (wow, this post has a lot of unfortunately's... how unfortunate for you readers!) with each baby we bring home, after I swear I will never care, or deliver another baby, I get one step closer to understanding why the Dugger's have as many children as they do.  I am not comfortable with being that close.  I'm making an appt with a psycologist, or therapist, or mental ward on Monday to sort through these concerning thoughts.  Hopefully they have wifi there so I can tell you about it.

In addition I think I've found my calling in life (luckily this call did NOT come from a small voice inside my head.  I don't think). Which is kind of a big deal because I've always had the insecurity of not knowing what I wanted to be when I grew up.  Except I grew up.  Which makes people look at your funny.  Or like you suck. Or both.  Usually both.  I went through school, took something that I knew I could tolerate for the most part and that would pay the bills, and left it at that.  I always knew I would eventually go back to school for something, I just wasn't sure what it was yet.  There have always been situations I wanted to implement in my life.  I am a huge fan of antiques, antiquing, and selling antiques.  This is something we still do on the side, and will always be a passion.  I believe at some point, possibly years down the line, participating in antique markets will become a reality.  I'm excited about that, but now is not the time for this experience.  I'm also wildly addicted to anything agricultural.  We're going to homestead this house as much as we can, and fully plan to purchase a full out farm in the next couple years.  But I feel that homsteading will be a nice counter part to the new plan.  I want to go back to university and become a certified midwife.  MmmHmm.  A midwife.  For some reason this option didn't show up in my options booklet back in highschool.  Then again, even if it did I doubt it would have earned a second glance from my 18 year old self.  Such a true testament to the ever evolution of the human mind and what it holds near and dear.  I registered last week to upgrade a few of my science courses and hope to apply next February.  Only 30 applicants are admitted to this fabulous program each year, so I'll be crossing my fingers.  I think this would be an excellent direction for our family, and compliment all of our other goings on nicely.  I've ordered some really great 'memoir of a midwife' type books and cannot wait to read them!  And just think, now that we're done building our own family, I could move on to helping others add to theirs (not in the way. obviously) and how glorious that would be!  I think preparing to register for a four year program in midwifery is the final peak in becoming crunchy.  I think if my 20 year old self met my 28 year old self, she would drop dead.  On one level I'm so thrilled that I'm finally coming into, my own, and on another I'm deeply disturbed by just how much one can change in a handful of years (yes, eight years IS a handful!) and truly hope that's all the change I'm going to have for a while. 

How's everyone else doing out there?  Is everyone still experiencing the early spring, or have you been bombarded by a second wind of winter too?  We're expecting snow tonight.  Last week I had to go out and buy the LPs new shorts and Ts.  I guess the weather needs to come into it's own too ;)

You Know Your Marriage Is Awesome When

Jenn: What if I applied for the Midwifery course in February?
Mr. Pretties: That would be great! Except... no offense... but, you're not really a sympathetic type person, and, well, not that nice either...
Jenn: ......................

Please. Try to contain your jealously of our (non) awesomeness.

I think Mr. Pretties but still wounded that I pointed out our now matching post partum bellies (we had a baby last week!! Woo!! Don't want to type about it until we name him though! Doh!!!) which I thought was quite obvious.  Evidently, it was only obvious to me...  I guess that's where my non-sympathetic and not nice personality came into play.  Maybe, just maybe, I'm only nice to those who are having babies...  and seeing as Mr. Pretties is not, has not, and is unlikely to do so in the near, and not so near future, he would not be in the know about this fabulous feature I hold.  Just saying.

How's everyone doing out in blog land?  Is everyone getting spring this week?  We're ready to till up some soil and make some gardens over the next couple weekends - good stuff!!

Who Needs A Mood Ring?

Or how I can determine my current mood via Kijiji...

I probably visit Kijiji once or twice a day (obviously my vices in life are online places inwhich I can spend money, atleast in my head) usually for either livestock, antiques, a new farm dog, or, rarely, fluffy cats.  When the fluffy cat searches start showing up in the internet history we have a problem.  It's time to bust out the liquid Prozac, or something. I noticed today that I was searching for cats on Kijiji, and then ventured over to PetFinder to look for more when that failed.  And I thought to myself, what on earth is wrong with me?!  Then I remembered.  We are a one vehicle family until next weekend.  Both of our families live a fair distance away from us now.  These items alone are total non issues.  But the biggest little had a really rough go at the last school she was at and spent the first half of grade one sans friends, anyone to eat lunch with, or to talk to.  This was tough (read: devastating) for all of us.  So we were super relieved when we moved here and the kids in her class were fantastic! Within the first week in her new class she had three friends and her first invitation to a friend's birthday party.  She was beyond stoked.  She coveted that invitation for weeks.  We RSVP'd. She showed everyone.  We discussed what we would buy as a present and what she would wear (not only was this a party, it was a Monster High DRESS UP Party!!!).  Then. Friday night happened. Mr. Pretties, god rest his soul - I mean god BLESS his soul, haha, yeah...*cough* moving on...  announced that he signed up to work overtime on Saturday (today) and wasn't that great.  Sure, I mean it's always fabulous when I say 'Hey, Mr Pretties don't forget the little has a b-day party of extreme importance going down on Saturday so clear the day...and whatever you do, do NOT sign up for overtime.' and then you come home and announce you're going to work and all of the littles excitement is dashed. I'm stoked! Who wouldn't be?1And you know who else I think would be stoked?! The little.  So why don't you go outside and let her know that the party she's been coveting for the last four weeks is now a no go.  Let me know how blowing up that rainbow works out for you.  He forgot.  Straight up. And there was no way to back out of work and no one else could take the little to the party. It was tragic.  I might be over exaggerating, but seriously, it felt (feels) tragic. 

No one explains to you that being a parent means spending a fair amount of time wanting to punch yourself (or your spouse. just saying) in the face repeatedly to distract yourself from the all consuming acidic guilt of disappointing your children.  And the more children you have the more opportunities you have to experience this great pleasure.  Over and over. So needless to say we feel like vile puddles of the worst parents ever and I've found that this directly corresponds to how I use  (abuse?) the internet.  Th is is how I rate my moods based on Kijij searches:

Antiques = Woo!! I love this house so much I'm going to pretend that I can totally afford that $1500 jam cupboard that we'd have to drive to Quebec to pick up!! Wooooo! Think of all the sweet ish I could put in that puppy! I'd have to buy more antiques just to put them in the cupboard because normal stuff wouldn't be good enough!

Livestock = Yay me! We live somewhere where these things are a real possibility! Who wants a cow?! Me! That's who!! Mozzarella, Farm Cheddar, Riccotta, butter... I'll be kicking some regular dairy ass! Hazzah!!!

Fluffy Cats = Boo... Can't quite pull myself up off the floor of suckingness. Man, a jam cupboard would be heavy. And I'd probably have to paint it, or put something in it. That sounds like a lot of work. I'd also have to go out in this craptastic weather to milk the cow, and I'd probably just spill the milk on the way back to the house... I don't even like cheese... but fluffy felines! I don't even have to get out of bed to enjoy that, and they totally don't care if I don't get dressed ever again, and they're free. Free fluffy balls of happiness. I'll take a dozen. But I'll need them delivered as I can't get out of bed, or get dressed or anything...

You Have To Know It's Going To Be A Bad Day...

Or... Why do I want to buy a product called 'Unicorn Farts'?!

I love Etsy.  Really love.  I used to sell there quite a bit.  I used to buy there quite a bit more.  But this pregnancy has made me indecisive (that may or may not be the biggest understatment ever typed by human hands) which has seriously hampered my ability to purchase things online, particularly on Etsy.  I probably lurk Etsy everyday atleast once, because you just never know what farm/chicken/french country/vintage type thing may have been listed in the last, oh, hour.  But I can't purchase.  I can put stuff in my cart, I've had a cart full heirloom veggie seeds that I've thinned and thicked out so many times the cart is ready to explode.  But I cannot utilize the 'Pay Now' or whatever that button is that arranges to have large sums of my money turned into large sums of someone else's and a happy jaunt to the mail box.  I just can't.  Not that I don't intend to purchase, I just intend to do it 'later, after the littlest is napping...'  I obviously have issues.  Have I mentioned I can no longer answer my phone either? It's getting pathetic.

So some how I ended up logged onto my dear friend Etsy this morning (does anyone else find themselves on the Etsy home page and have no idea how they got there, don't remember typing in the address or conciously thinking they'd like to be there?!) and there was exactly what I needed without even running a search. Unicorn Farts. I snapped that puppy up and threw two in my cart (I seldom buy more than one of something, but I was quick this morning - could not chance one of the littles tossing it in the dryer/garbage/out the window/in a diaper) and slammed on that 'Buy It Now'  button while images of skipping to my mail box (which is no less than 500 miles away from our house) while rainbow sparkles trickled from my feet, finding the little red flag up and waving at me, throwing back the little door as golden beams spilled out of box interior where a perfect little package laid waiting, encasing what would no doubt be the much coveted Unicorn Farts.    But what's this?  What is the computer screen trying to tell me?  It's saying something along the lines of 'Aww... too bad, we have just single handedly dashed all your future hopes and dreams.  All of the Unicorn Farts lip balms of Etsy have already been purchased by those far more awesome than yourself.  There will  still be skipping to the mail box of golden glory, but it will not be by you.  But, while we're on the topic, would you like to mark this item as a favorite instead, so it can be a constant reminder of the epic fail that is your purchasing ability?' Umm... I'm going to go with no on that one...

When this typeof  situation brings tears to your eyes, you have to know it's not going to be a good day. For you, or anyone else in your immediate vicinity.  And you should probably think about Googling 'therapy' in your immediate local area. Just saying.